is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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