oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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