my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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