I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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