Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
