Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
