I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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