white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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