Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
