I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
