Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
