I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
