I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
