Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
