New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
