Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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