Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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