just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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