My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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