It's Friday. Sex?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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