i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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