my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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