I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
These tits shall not be calmed
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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