Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
