You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Can I color on your dick again?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
