I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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