i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
