Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My bed smells like the plague
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
