Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize