we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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