Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
