i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
