I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
