Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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