Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You made out with two different species that night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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