you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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