so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
