ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
