I hate all girls vehemently.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
