So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
