Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
