i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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