I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
