Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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