just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
