yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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