Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Who wears a wallet chain?!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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