Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
