He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
