Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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