Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
