I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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