Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
