The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
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