i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
