I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
