drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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