using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I need water and some morals
Randomize
