That's when you crack a 10am beer
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
