this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This is the high leading the old right now
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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