who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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