his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
