Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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